


loving is

by minsugar



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Sexual Content, Slice of Life, Smut, just soft boyfriends idc, this is a no angst zone!, tiny hint of angst but not with their relationship per se
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:20:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23209177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minsugar/pseuds/minsugar
Summary: loving, from the simplest to the most complex form of it, is easy.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 52
Kudos: 334





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this quarantine got me writing lmao. everyone please stay safe wherever you are! practice social distancing if you can. stay at home if you can. stay healthy and hydrated especially in these trying times. wishing the best for everyone!
> 
> here's a jaeyong fic if you're home and bored lol

Loving has always been easy—like a habit they’ve both been doing all their lives. Loving is next to breathing. Loving is warmth on a cold, winter day; a very cold lemonade on a scorching summer. Loving, for as long as they’ve both been alive, has always been natural.

It should come easy.

Taeyong and Jaehyun have lived next to each other all their lives. Their mothers were strangers turned neighbours turned friends with all the similarities they have; one a single parent, and one who’s husband has been away more than he’s been at home.

Loving has always been easy, with how three year old Taeyong has coddled a one year old Jaehyun with all the affection a toddler can give an infant.Playing wasn’t a problem given their age difference, because as soon as Taeyong knew that little Jaehyunnie can sit up, he’s been adamant on having his auntie let Jaehyun sit between his legs with a big children’s book sprawled in front of them. Taeyong would teach him letters and numbers that he barely knew himself. He’d always ask to feed Jaehyun when it’s lunch time for the baby. He’d bring over his own plushies and surround Jaehyun with them in his crib.

A couple years later when Jaehyun can now walk and run freely, they’d play hide and seek in the living room. Jaehyun would always be the chaser, and Taeyong will always hide in obvious places then startle Jaehyun playfully until it’s snack time and they’re eating small apple slices side by side on the couch. Jaehyun is a messy eater, and Taeyong will always, always wipe his lips with the tissues that Jaehyun’s mom leaves them with. When Taeyong’s mom comes home just before dinner, Taeyong will always kiss Jaehyun on the cheeks goodbye and promises to be back tomorrow. Jaehyun couldn’t comprehend those yet, but he still waves his tiny hands when Taeyong does. He copies a lot of things that his hyung does.

Loving has always been easy—like fetching Jaehyun from the court when it’s lunch time and he didn’t hear the bell ring, of course. Jaehyun has PE before lunch on Thursdays, and it’s been Taeyong’s routine to stop by Jaehyun’s classroom at 12:05, grab his lunch box from his bag, ignore all his juniors staring at him because what do sophomores know, anyway. Since grade school, they’ve always eaten lunch together and not one day went by that they didn’t.

“Ya,” Taeyong shouts when he’s within Jaehyun’s earshot. Jaehyun immediately drops the ball without even sparing Taeyong a glance first. Sicheng is annoyed like he always is when Jaehyun just abruptly stops in the middle of the game. Jaehyun shoots his classmate a smile in apology. It’s no big deal, anyway. Sicheng bids him a ‘bye’ and a ‘see ya in Math’ as he looks for his other friends to have lunch with.

Loving has always been easy because loving has been a routine that neither of them tried to break.

They go to their usual table at the back, and Jaehyun goes off on how horrible their History teacher is for assigning them a five page essay due immediately on Monday.

“Is that about the Korean war?” Taeyong asks, poking at his egg rolls. He wordlessly puts one in Jaehyun’s lunchbox, the latter putting all the carrots from his food on top of Taeyong’s rice. One of these days, Taeyong will force Jaehyun to eat his vegetables. For now, he’ll let him live. Jaehyun loves his mom’s egg rolls.

Jaehyun grunts in affirmative, leftover sweat running down his face. He’s so sweaty and nasty like he always is when it’s hot outside and he still plays basketball. Taeyong’s handkerchief is always reserved for times like this, when Jaehyun always forgets to carry his own face towel with him. He carefully dabs at the boy’s face, careful not to interrupt him while chewing. “I think I still have my essay. Mr. Cho, right? You have history with him?”

“Really? Yeah, that’s him.” Jaehyun’s face lights up. His hyung really makes everything easy for him. He smiles with his cheeks stuffed his rice. “Will you let me have it?”

“Sure, but what do I get, hm?” Is Taeyong’s playful answer. He was just kidding—he didn’t need anything from Jaehyun. He was genuinely offering his own essay that got an A- for his favourite person. He remembers Jaehyun having a hard time at Math, and that he has an upcoming quiz tomorrow on that specific topic he’s struggling with. Taeyong, as it turns out, is pretty good at Math, and he was thinking he could tutor Jaehyun tonight for that—history essay be damned.

“I’ll take you to the arcade tomorrow, hyung. Please, hyung? Please? You can teach me the Math thing instead. I have a quiz tomorrow and I don’t wanna get a zero.” Jaehyun rarely does aegyo. It amuses Taeyong how he can just do it so naturally without him even knowing he’s doing it.

Loving has always been easy—like knowing what your person needs before they can even tell you.

(Jaehyun gets 25 points out of thirty and he leaves a big smack on Taeyong’s cheek on their walk home.)

Loving, sometimes, is not enough—when just before Taeyong graduates high school, Jaehyun’s parents gets a divorce. Taeyong has seen it coming. Sometimes, he and his mom talk about it over dinner, like two friends gossiping. His mom would tell him auntie would sometimes cry at night, because her husband has never been home for more than two days before he has to go to _work_ again. He’s some kind of big-shot engineer that’s always in the fields. He has plenty of money that leaves the bills paid and Jaehyun’s allowance overflowing. His mom tells him auntie suspects there’s a third party involved. Taeyong doesn’t want to hear the details. He never knew his dad and it never mattered to him, anyway. But Jaehyun had always longed for his, would always be happy whenever his dad is home, but would always run to Taeyong when his dad shoos him away because he’s too tired to play with his own son.

It was inevitable.

Growing up, Jaehyun learned to distance himself from his father. He taught himself not to yearn. He taught himself that his mother was enough. His mom loved him so much. And Taeyong’s mom, too, like he was her own son. Taeyong loves him. It’s enough.

When his mom comes home from the court, she cries in his arms. He stays strong for her and hugs her until she stops. Jaehyun rarely cries in front of her, and he didn’t want to make it harder for her when he does.

She tells him his dad admitted to having a mistress, and the days he’s not at their own house, he’s over at her place. Jaehyun’s fuming with anger. His mom tries to appease him, tells him his dad will leave college money, enough for four years so she doesn’t have to pay for it. Jaehyun doesn’t want his money, but it would be less of a burden to his mom so he says nothing. When they sit down together for dinner, Jaehyun asks where his dad is currently staying. His mom gives him the address without so much a question.

Shortly before ten in the evening, Jaehyun knocks on Taeyong’s door. Auntie lets him in with a sad, sympathetic smile. His mom must have told her already. She offers him a wordless hug and he gratefully takes it. “Yong’s in his room.”

Jaehyun never knocks on Taeyong’s door because it’s never locked, and because he doesn’t need to. Taeyong’s already asleep, his blanket messily sprawled on top of him as he makes himself small against the wall, leaving a space for Jaehyun just in case he comes. Jaehyun knows by now that there’s always a space for him here. He smiles down at Taeyong’s sleeping form for a small while before lying down next to him, arranging the blanket so it’s covering the both of them properly.

Taeyong’s a light sleeper, Jaehyun knows. He doesn’t flinch when he’s being pressed against a soft, sweater-clad chest with a hand coming up to gently stroke his hair. “You can cry. It’s okay.”

And, just like a switch, Jaehyun’s dam breaks—so open and vulnerable. Everything’s always been so easy with Taeyong. He’ll just know every bit of Jaehyun’s emotions like a fucking mind reader. Jaehyun doesn’t have to pretend to be okay with him, doesn’t have to hold in his sadness, doesn’t ever have to fake everything when he’s with Taeyong because Taeyong, for some odd reason, just knows. He knows him so well.

“Hyung, I hate him so much. I’m so mad. He hurt mom so bad.”

“I know, Jae.”

“Hyung, can you come with me tomorrow?”

“Where?”

“I just wanna hit him once. I wanna see him and hit him just once. For mom.”

And Taeyong knows violence will never be the answer but he gives in for Jaehyun’s one wish. “Okay. I’ll come with you.”

(It was his mistress’ place. She answered the door for him. She asked who he is and Jaehyun scoffs because she should know that he has a family, a son, but good thing all the good looks and his face is eerily identical to his mother’s. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have to live looking like his cheater of a father. Good thing the bastard is there too, because he looked happy to see Jaehyun for once, out of guilt maybe, but he wouldn’t know the punch coming to his face. His father stumbles back, face slack in pain and shock. The woman shrieks, already looking mad at Jaehyun, but the man stops her. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m sorry, son.”

“Don’t call me son. I was never your son and you were never my father. That one is for my mom. Please don’t go after us and never, ever show up.”

Taeyong was waiting patiently down the lobby. When he sees Jaehyun come out of the elevator, the first thing he inspects is his face, then his knuckles. He seemed okay. Jaehyun gives him a sad smile and they walk out with their arms linked.)

Loving, sometimes, is not enough. It doesn’t take a lot to understand a person you’ve been accustomed to, but it’s definitely a choice to want to understand someone every single day. Taeyong is pretty much a pro at it at this point in their lives. He’s been with Jaehyun long enough to love him and understand him unconditionally. He knows when Jaehyun doesn’t want to talk, he knows just when to hold him and make him feel better. The subway ride home is quiet but comfortable. It’s nearly empty, and Jaehyun lets his head fall against Taeyong’s shoulder. Taeyong soothes him with a gentle and innocent touch to his thigh. Jaehyun sighs and closes his eyes.

Loving, sometimes, means taking big leaps—like when, the first day of summer vacation after Taeyong’s senior year, he sits Jaehyun down and told him about his plans. “I’m not going to college yet.”

“What? Why?” Jaehyun looks adorably confused. “Is that why you weren’t busy like Youngho hyung and Yuta hyung when they were working on their applications?”

“Yes,” Taeyong starts. “And because money’s tight right now.”

“Hyung, you’re smart. You can go for a scholarship.”

“I know, but…mom quit her other job because she’s getting sick all the time for working so much. I gotta help with all the bills. I want to look after her for a bit to make sure she bounces back. I’ve decided to work for now. Maybe I can wait for you to graduate then we can go to college together. I can process my scholarship then when you’re a senior.”

Jaehyun stares at him for a long time, like he’s contemplating something. His mind darts back to his beloved auntie, who is already a second mom to him—to when his own mother is left to look after Taeyong whenever she’s at work. She worked two jobs to support Taeyong and send him to a good school. There wasn’t a father figure who even helped them financially, unlike Jaehyun’s dad who sends them a buckload of money every month. She raised Taeyong gracefully with all her might, and even if she was busy all the time she made sure she was always there whenever he needed her the most. Taeyong understood his mother’s sacrifice and Jaehyun understands his wish now.

“Whatever it is you wanna do, hyung, I’ll support you fully.”

Taeyong smiles at him, cradles his cheek lovingly. “Thanks, Jae.”

Loving, sometimes, means sacrifice—like when that summer, Jaehyun decides he could use a sense of responsibility.

Normally, he and Taeyong would spend every day of summer together. They’d play video games all day and marathon movies every other night. They’d go swimming with their other friends at a waterpark just outside of the city. When Jaehyun’s mom leaves for her annual summer gathering with her college friends some place in Europe, Jaehyun would stay over at Taeyong’s. Sometimes, Taeyong would try out recipes he’d find of Youtube. Jaehyun has seen and tasted it all. Jaehyun would treat him to arcade most of the time. Tradition is tradition. It’s been four years and they’ve yet to defeat the high score in that stupid basketball game. Not even Jaehyun, an actual shooter in an actual high school sports team, can even beat it.

Taeyong tells him he’ll be working at a nearby popular restaurant as a server. He heard the tip was great because customers are always satisfied and they hire high school graduates, too, as long as they can get orders correctly and not spill food. He starts in a week, and Jaehyun’s quite sad he can’t play with his hyung all summer.

That’s when he realised he should probably get a summer job, too.

It is by no means out of pity—wanting to help Taeyong. He knows they can go by just fine. But he sees his auntie looking tired lately and he just couldn’t produce money to help them out. And maybe, just maybe, Jaehyun wouldn’t be bored out of his mind if he waits for Taeyong all day. He has a lot of friends nearby, but there’s not much to do with them that he isn’t doing with Taeyong already. Maybe, he can just save his allowance and earn some more to help Taeyong with whatever he needs. He looks back at the time that he’ll eat over at their place like he lives there, and how he noticed Taeyong doesn’t spend his money on the things he wants to buy even if he can afford it.

Jaehyun gets an easy job at a convenience store nearby.

At first, Taeyong asks him why. There’s no need for him to. Jaehyun just answers him with a smile and a shrug saying, ‘I just don’t wanna be bored. Maybe I can save up for a Switch. I dunno.”

Taeyong doesn’t question him and lets him be. They meet up every day before Taeyong goes to work at nine in the morning. Jaehyun clocks in at noon, and Taeyong waits for him at around six so they can walk home together. It’s easy—coexisting. They’ve been together all their lives that even changes don’t feel that much different.

Whenever Taeyong hands his mother some money for the electric and water bills, she’d turn him down and say ‘I took care of it already’, and all summer she refuses to take whatever money he’s giving her. She looks more healthy, though, and well-rested. She enjoys her job now that she doesn’t have another one to worry about. Taeyong saves her some time because most days, he’ll bring home some food from the restaurant. Not much, but enough to feed them dinner.

He saves up a generous amount that goes straight to his own college fund. Unbeknownst to him is the secret donor who chips in for their bills—because it’s honestly not much since nobody’s home most of the day anyway.

Jaehyun had to convince his mom to let auntie take it through her, made both moms promise to never tell Taeyong and that they swear on their life. In the two years that Taeyong decided to postpone college, Jaehyun just wants all of his hyung’s earnings to go to his fund. Taeyong’s such a hard-worker. He deserves every penny he makes. Jaehyun doesn’t mind helping out. He’s genuinely happy to help without anything in return. Taeyong has done so much for him already. If anything, this is just him giving it all back.

One Saturday when their moms are both out, Taeyong drags Jaehyun out to eat dinner. “My mom hasn’t been taking my share. When I ask her she just smiles at me.” They stop at the pedestrian before crossing. “What do you want to eat? It’s all on me.” And Jaehyun lets Taeyong treat him. He orders the most expensive thing on the menu—just a little something to maybe appease Taeyong. Jaehyun knows he’s been saving up for personal matters. Jaehyun knows Taeyong wouldn’t let him say no to a free dinner. Jaehyun lets him, because if anything, he understands Taeyong’s needs just as well as the the latter understands his.

Loving, sometimes, is give and take.

Loving has always been easy, but it all comes crashing down onto Jaehyun one idle afternoon at work.

It’s been slow—most people are out of town. At around three to five pm, there’s not much to do. Jaehyun’s ass is turning flat with how he’s just been sitting at the register for the entirety of his shift. Jaehyun browses through his phone gallery because he rarely does it, and the epiphany comes slowly, and then at an alarming rate.

Everything is of Taeyong. There’s about eighty pictures in his camera roll and it’s all of Taeyong—his Taeyong whom he grew up with, literally took care of him, walked with him to and from school, looked after him for all of their lives.

Jaehyun couldn’t remember when it had stopped being platonic.

Sure, he’d get teased a lot when he’s with Sicheng, and when Jungkook’s in a particularly lovey-dovey mood. Mingyu joins in, too, when he pays enough attention to all of his friends when it’s Homeroom. They’d tease him how Jaehyun never has lunch with them, or how he’d never stay back and hang after school. They’re all friendly about it and it’s all in good fun, mostly because they know what Taeyong means to him. Jaehyun can have as many friends as he wants but no one in the entire world is comparable to Taeyong.

He couldn’t remember when he started staring at Taeyong and realized he really wants to kiss those lips, hug him longer, be around him all the time as if he isn’t already doing it all his life. He couldn’t remember how he stopped seeing him as a brother figure, how he started getting jealous on the rare times that Taeyong hangs out with Youngho and Yuta instead; how, during moments of uncertainty, all he can think about is how Taeyong would be the cure for everything. How, without Taeyong, his life would be bleak.

He couldn’t care one bit that he’s the only person who’s ever known the entirety of a Jung Jaehyun. He’d rather keep it that way, too.

Jaehyun sends his co-worker a text, something about coming in early to cover the last hour of his shift. There’s several thousand won on the table and the kid Donghyuck easily agrees.

Jaehyun doesn’t consider himself romantic, but he does remember Taeyong saying he likes tulips.

Come to think of it, none of them have ever been in love with other people, none of them have had crushes in school. He thinks it’s just fine with the way they tend to stick together at all times. Jaehyun has been in denial for a while, but someone can only handle so much of self-control before he bursts with restrained emotions. 

He stops by the flower shop before he rounds the street of the restaurant Taeyong works at. He buys a single pink tulip, had it wrapped in a pretty brown stationary paper with a thin, black ribbon around it. It’s not much but it’s a start. Jaehyun, for the first time in his life, is nervous to be around Taeyong. He doesn’t even know what to say but if he’s good at one thing, it’s winging the hell out of things.

He waits just outside the back door where he knows Taeyong would be coming out. He hides the flower behind him, waits patiently despite the tremor in his chest. It’s just Taeyong, but one little move can make or break their friendship, but Jaehyun is willing to give it a go.

Loving, sometimes, requires weakness.

Loving, sometimes, is seeing Taeyong’s smile directed at him. Surprise and confusion but also happiness painting his face when he sees Jaehyun casually leaning against the wall.

“What are you doing here?” Asks Taeyong, the smile on his face echoed on Jaehyun’s. “Did you finally quit your job?”

“No, I finished early.” A white lie couldn’t hurt him. “I, uh, got you—here.”

Jaehyun whips out the flower behind him, head bent down in embarrassment. He feels a hot flush spread through his face, feels his ears burn red. For the first time, he couldn’t look at Taeyong in the eyes even if wants to. He can’t. He didn’t plan this out. He can’t wing it. He’s gonna lose his person forever. He can feel it—

“You remembered my favourite flower?” Was all Taeyong asks, taking the thing out of Jaehyun’s hand. There’s a soft laugh that ripples between them, courtesy of Taeyong. He puts a finger on Jaehyun’s chin and tips it up so their eyes meet. “Anything special today? Why are you spoiling me?”

There’s a lot of questions asked, and Jaehyun doesn’t know how to answer all of them. He refuses to hold eye contact because he physically can’t—not when Taeyong’s looking at him like that. Not when Taeyong looks at him like he’d given him the stars and not just a cheap flower.

“Hyung…I don’t know. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“I figured, but it’s fine. Let’s go home?”

It was Taeyong who offers his hand and insist that Jaehyun takes it. The walk home is silent, but not uncomfortable as Jaehyun had been expecting it to be.

“You wanna tell me something, Jae?”

Taeyong halts on the corner of their street. Jaehyun drops his hand and averts his gaze, heart running a mile per minute.

Nothing has ever been hard with Taeyong. These things should be easy. It’s just words that he needs to say, feelings he wants to put out. All along, he thought everything will be easy as long as it’s with Taeyong, but Jaehyun is still young. He couldn’t know a lot of things. He couldn’t ask anyone for help with these things—mainly because the only person he can talk to about it is the cause of his own premature cardiac arrest.

Taeyong stares at him, patiently waiting for an answer. He never let go of his hold on the flower clutched to his chest. Seeing him like that, Jaehyun gets a bit of courage.

“I like you.”

Loving, sometimes, is honesty.

“I just realized that I couldn’t imagine life without you. Not because it’s been just us forever, but because I want to choose you everyday. I want us to be together forever. It’s cheesy and I don’t know where these are coming from but it’s okay to be clingy, right? You never push me away even if you see my face everyday so you couldn’t be sick of me, right? I don’t want you to be sick of me, hyung. And I don’t want to be sick of you, too. I don’t think I can. Loving is easy with you, hyung.”

Loving, most times, is easy.

It’s with the way Taeyong looks at him with the utmost adoration, unshed tears making his eyes sparkle. It’s with the way he sighs in contentment and the way he just couldn’t help the smile and the blush on his cheeks. It’s with the way he takes Jaehyun’s hand in his and tells him, “Not one day that I want to be apart from you, too.”

Taeyong’s epiphany came in earlier, but he couldn’t act on it as bravely as Jaehyun did. He was content if they remained friends, because Jaehyun is the most precious person in his life and he didn’t want to lose what they have. Maybe Taeyong is a bigger coward than he thinks he already is. But somewhat, the universe has a way of siding with him just this once.

No more words were said as they continue the walk home hand in hand.

“Sleep over at mine later.” Taeyong tells Jaehyun just before they split up to get to their front doors.

Loving, sometimes, is passion.

It’s with the way Taeyong kisses Jaehyun under the moonlight that spills between the curtains. Soft and sweet filled with so much warmth. Jaehyun couldn’t think of the most perfect first kiss, and that applies to Taeyong too. It’s beautiful how they’re each other’s first for nearly everything.

How, in the middle of the most uneventful summer, Taeyong cradles Jaehyun’s cheeks with careful hands the way Jaehyun puts delicate fingers across Taeyong’s waist.

It should be awkward because he’s kissing his childhood friend, his hyung that he grew up with. But Jaehyun has half a mind to think about that because everything feels too good as of the moment. He feels electric from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Taeyong leads the kiss despite not knowing how to, but it shouldn’t be that hard given that they’re both inexperienced. Anything that’s happening feels good. It makes Taeyong’s heart pound in his chest and Jaehyun feels it, happy to know he’s not the only one feeling that way.

They kiss for a long time under the moonlight, keeping it tame and innocent for now. Neither of them take it too far, and Jaehyun ends it with a kiss to Taeyong’s forehead and a promise of tomorrow, the day after, and the future ahead of them.

Loving has always been easy—with the way they say good night and fall asleep side by side. One last kiss is pressed into Jaehyun’s cheek and then Taeyong snuggles closer to him.

Loving will always be easy for as long as they end each day like this in each other’s arms, hearts just beating calmly together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm back with part 2 lol. hope you enjoy!

Loving is contentment.

Taeyong isn’t much of a materialistic person. He isn’t one to complain about petty things like washing dishes or doing homework. He works very hard for whatever it is he’s working on. The start of another school year, he lands himself a job as a personal tutor for this one rich couple’s son who is a bit of a slow learner. The pay he gets is the same amount from when he used to work at the restaurant, but the good thing about this is he only gets to go for a solid two hours for five days a week and calls it a day. He picks up an easier part time job at the same convenience store Jaehyun used to work at for a permanent morning shift.

Jisung is a great kid. He’s cute and polite, but he couldn’t pick up on things easily. He’s only eight, and he goes to a special school. Taeyong is not a licensed occupational therapist, but he’s patient and he’s willing to teach Jisung whatever there is to learn. Jisung calls him _seonsaengnim_ , but Taeyong insists he calls him hyung instead. When Jisung starts to drift off from listening to Taeyong, they doodle on scratch paper until Jisung is ready to listen again. Sometimes, Jisung cries when Taeyong leaves once their session is done. Taeyong just hugs him tight and promises to be back tomorrow. Taeyong’s heart clutches at the sight of little Jisung trying not to cry. He might be attached with the boy already.

After his session with Jisung, Taeyong picks Jaehyun up from school. It’s weird staying back after he graduated. His friends are all off to college and he’s still here, but he doesn’t regret the decision he made. He’s laying off for two whole years with an infinite amount of possibilities that could happen within that span of time and then he looks at Jaehyun’s smiling face and doesn’t feel one ounce of regret. Not ever.

He gets some stares from a couple of students who knew him by face and they’re probably thinking, ‘ _He’s still here? Did he not go to college? Is he stupid?_ ’

Sometimes, Taeyong thinks about how it’ll be if he went on with his life. What if he just followed his regular timeline? What if he just applied for a full scholarship with the housing and the allowance? He could live off of that. He could be in the city with Youngho and Yuta. He can still meet some of his friends over the weekend. He could be a regular college student for once. But—

“Hey.” There’s a big smile on Jaehyun’s face as always when he sees Taeyong by the school gate. It makes his dimples go _deep deep deep_ and then he’s pausing in front of Taeyong to take his hand.

“Let’s go home.”

Taeyong feels the warmth settle. He’s content.

Loving is assurance.

“SNU? Isn’t that quite…I don’t know, honey. I won’t ever doubt you but I didn’t think you’d go for SNU.” Jaehyun’s mom tells him over dinner.

He’s in the middle of picking which universities to apply for, and while he’s not dumb, he himself didn’t think he’d want to choose SNU in the first place. Jaehyun’s trying really hard to study this year and get better grades. He’s been searching for the exam manuals all over the internet for when he takes the entrance exams. He hasn’t told Taeyong yet, because the latter is also busy with trying to process his scholarship. He took a special exam several months ago at SNU to take up nursing and of course he got in with flying colours.

Taeyong is dedicated to be a doctor. Jaehyun wants to settle with Business Ad and there are tons of great universities for that, too, but there’s no way he’s missing out on going to college with Taeyong. He’d be stupid to not follow him after all.

“I’m just hoping, you know. I gotta give it a shot.” Is all he replies, shrugging. He makes the mistake of looking over at his mom because she’s looking at him funny, like she knows something that he doesn’t. “What?”

“It’s Taeyong, isn’t is? Auntie told me he got in.”

It’s no secret to their parents anymore, and Jaehyun’s glad both of their moms are on board with the two of them. Their love blooming out of convenience and inherent clinginess since they were babies were something that both of their mothers had already seen coming.

“Mom, you know I don’t really have a dream, right? You know I just don’t wanna be someone like a doctor, or an architect. That’s okay, right?”

“Of course, honey.” His mom smiles at him, gentle and loving and understanding and Jaehyun’s glad his father is out of the picture already. The man would’ve asked him to be an engineer had they been on good terms, and Jaehyun just wasn’t fuelled with something enough to want to be someone. He knows his mother would support him in whatever it is he wants to do. He sees himself running a business someday, and that’s all he wants to follow for now. “I just want you to be comfortable in whatever it is you choose, and I’ll support you all the way.”

Jaehyun smiles at her in thanks, that one smile where he grins so big his eyes disappear. He knew his mother’s weakness. She finishes dinner and kisses him on the cheek lovingly on her way to drop her plate in the sink for Jaehyun to wash later.

Come Saturday that week, Jaehyun drags Taeyong to a coffee shop date to tell him about his plan.

“You couldn’t have told me back at home?” Taeyong teases but lets Jaehyun lead the way, anyway. They hop off the subway and they get lost a bit because Jaehyun couldn’t really bother to Google the exact location but Taeyong just laughs at him and offers him an amused kiss on the nose while they continue to roam the streets. They find it eventually tucked between a really hipster tattoo shop and a pharmacy.

“What did you want to talk about?” Taeyong helps himself on a generous slice of his soufflé pancake. It’s bouncy and jiggly and has way too much syrup. Taeyong loves it. Jaehyun watches him eat with a fond smile. His hyung really does love his sugar.

“I was thinking of applying to SNU.” Jaehyun starts simply. Beforehand, he thinks of all the ways Taeyong could possibly react to this. He knew Taeyong doesn’t mind if he went to a separate university, but it’s Jaehyun’s choice, and Taeyong should know by now how stubborn the younger is when he’s set on something. The look Taeyong gives him is neutral at best, but his face is open and his ears are always listening to whatever Jaehyun says and will say for that matter. For that, Jaehyun is grateful.

“That’s great, Jae.” Is all Taeyong says, dropping his fork as he sits facing Jaehyun in the booth. “You’ve been looking up for the exam manuals, haven’t you?”

“Yeah—wait, that’s…?”

“You’re dumb if you actually think I’d be opposed to you following me there.” Taeyong chuckles at him, feeds him a slice of the pancake, and Jaehyun accepts it obediently. It’s good, but a bit too sweet for him. “I don’t mind. We’re on the same page, right? Of course I’d want you to be there, too. I’d get to see you everyday, then.” Taeyong’s smile is big and bright, and Jaehyun knows he’s thrilled just with the way he’s vibrating in his seat with excitement.

“I can help you prepare with the exam, if you want.” Taeyong offers, hand reaching out for Jaehyun’s drink, wanting to taste it. It’s some matcha concoction that Taeyong nearly spits out. Jaehyun laughs at him because the only thing Taeyong can consume is those overly-sweet chocolate frappes with actual candy bars in it. “This is gross, by the way.”

“It isn’t, and…” Jaehyun pauses, swirling his drink with the straw. “You…you don’t think I’m too ambitious for that? It’s SNU and my grades are average at best.”

“I know, and no, I don’t think you’re too ambitious.” Taeyong takes Jaehyun’s hand in his, caressing the skin softly with his thumb. Jaehyun’s heart beat picks up as always when Taeyong plays with his hand. “You can do it. I’ll help you. Do you want me to tutor you, too?” He asks just to elicit a reaction from the younger.

“No, you’re busy enough as it is.” Jaehyun pouts, letting Taeyong massage his fingers one by one.

“My weekends are free. You’re going to be busy, soon. Let me help you while you still have time. Not to be cheesy but we’ll make it together.” Taeyong offers Jaehyun a small, reassuring smile and Jaehyun thinks as long as he keeps believing, they’ll be fine.

Loving is thrill.

Jaehyun passes the exam and he gets into the best university in the country. His mother is beyond delighted, of course. Even Jungkook and Sicheng can’t believe it at first, but Jaehyun tells them it’s all because of Taeyong’s help and his friends agree. ‘ _Assholes_ ,’ Jaehyun tells them good-naturedly but he definitely thinks he did it all because Taeyong helped him a lot with studying. At campus, he gets the regular student housing, and Taeyong gets one too in the scholars’ building. They’re about five blocks away from each other but that’s fine.

Over vacation, they go to Niseko as Jaehyun’s mom’s gift to the both of them for graduating high school. Taeyong’s is two years too late but he’s happy that he gets to go with Jaehyun, anyway. There’s a lot of snow and unlimited amounts of milk ice cream and hot cocoa and Taeyong feels blissful for the entirety of their trip, for it being his first time on a plane and in a foreign country. Jaehyun takes a billion commemoration photos for him—from the van to the airport, inside the plane, at their hotel, lots of them rolling around in the snow, skiing and snowboarding. He’s happy that Taeyong’s happy.

A few weeks before classes start, they move into the dorms to settle down. Jaehyun gets two roommates—a boy from Canada named Mark and a guy from Jeju named Jeno. They get along great, and Jaehyun’s thankful he didn’t get messy and rude roommates in the first place. Taeyong meets a Chinese scholar named Kun and they hit it off quickly with how similar the both of them are.

The night before classes officially start, Jaehyun drags Taeyong out to have chicken and beer. Taeyong berates him that he shouldn’t be drinking before the first day of university, but one look at Jaehyun’s puppy eyes and Taeyong caves in. He doesn’t let Jaehyun have more than two glasses, though, because he’s still responsible for him. He promised auntie, and he promised his mom that they’ll behave. He sends his mom a picture of Jaehyun mid bite on a chicken wing with the beer glasses carefully out of the frame. She replies with a sparkling heart emoji and a ‘ _behave u 2, imy both!_ ’.

The first week is reserved for orientation. They hang out a couple times before Taeyong takes his shift at the library as a working student. Jaehyun will drop by on his free time to study whenever Taeyong’s on the clock. He always takes the seat nearest to Taeyong’s station and he works in silence for several hours until he has classes or until Taeyong clocks out. They get dinner at the cafeteria and part ways at the end of the day. So far so good, and Jaehyun feels the bliss of freedom of having Taeyong near, of having new friends, of the college life.

Taeyong doesn’t let Jaehyun walk him back to his own dorm, though. When Jaehyun asked why, Taeyong said, ‘I _t’s literally five blocks away, Jae. I can go home just fine._ ’ There’s a reassuring smile on Taeyong’s face before he kisses Jaehyun right there outside the cafeteria. There aren’t much people, and a quick peck to Jaehyun’s lips is innocent enough. Taeyong makes it a habit to kiss him before they part ways.

The morning after that night, Jaehyun didn’t have morning classes and Taeyong has time to spare before he clocks in at the library. He makes breakfast with Kun and sets aside a generous serving to pack for Jaehyun. He thought he could surprise the younger, because Jaehyun seemed pretty upset when Taeyong told him it’s fine if he didn’t walk Taeyong home.

He knocks on room 4-D and is greeted with a disheveled Mark who looks half asleep. “Oh, hey Taeyong.”

“Is he still asleep?” Taeyong asks, removing his shoes by the door as Mark steps aside to let him in.

“I think.” Is all Mark says as he disappears into the bathroom. Taeyong sets the food down on their tiny table and makes his way to Jaehyun’s room, knocking at first and then entering when he doesn’t get a response.

There he is, all curled up in his blankets with his head poking out. Taeyong takes a picture and settles down gently beside him. Jaehyun slept at a reasonable time last night so Taeyong deems it okay to wake him up for breakfast. He strokes the bed hair gently, pressing a kiss to the exposed forehead. “Wake up, Jae.”

Jaehyun stirs after a couple more patting. He groans and rolls over, realises there’s another person, and sits up with his eyes wide upon realising it’s Taeyong. There’s a huge smile that blooms on his face and it echoes on Taeyong as Jaehyun hugs him gently, face buried in his boyfriend’s shoulder. “What are you doing here this early?”

“Wanted to see you, and I brought you breakfast.”

Jaehyun lets go abruptly, tells Taeyong to stay where he is and that he’ll be back. Taeyong, confused, sits down obediently as he patiently waits for Jaehyun to return. He takes in the small room, pleased that Jaehyun maintains it clean and organized without Taeyong nagging at him to do so. Jaehyun’s back two minutes later with a shit-eating grin and he doesn’t let Taeyong say one word before he’s kissing him, gently laying him on the bed. There’s a startled whine on Taeyong’s part, but he lets Jaehyun kiss him, lets Jaehyun touch him as their lips lock. There’s a tongue swiping on Taeyong’s bottom lip and it tastes of mouth wash, and he chuckles internally because Jaehyun is considerate enough to brush his teeth first and actually gargle with Listerine before making out with him.

Taeyong’s hand finds itself on Jaehyun’s cheek, letting Jaehyun’s tongue in. He hums contentedly as Jaehyun’s hand settles on his waist. He has half a mind to think about how his clothes will probably get all wrinkled but they don’t get these moments often. Taeyong relishes in it, he knows Jaehyun does, too. To this day, they haven’t done anything filthier than frenching, not even when they went alone on vacation in Niseko. Taeyong’s not gonna lie—he sometimes thinks about it. He thinks about how they’ll have their first time, if Jaehyun thinks about him when he touches himself, how Taeyong just wanna be wrecked sometimes because Jaehyun’s been getting so fit lately. They haven’t talked about it, and for years it’s been the elephant in the room. They’re not prudes per se, but it just wasn’t a topic they’d talk about on a normal day. It’s not everyday you just wake up and realize that you’re very much physically attracted to your childhood best friend-turned-boyfriend.

It’s not really the time to be hard because he needs to go to work, so Taeyong gently pushes Jaehyun away with a flushed face.

“You’re all red.” Jaehyun points out, leaves one last kiss on Taeyong’s cheek and hoists him up. Taeyong’s relieved that Jaehyun knows what needs to be done to keep him calm. “C’mon, I’m hungry.” He says, pun very much intended.

Loving is pleasure.

To say that Taeyong had been nervous is very much of an understatement. He’s been meaning to ask Jaehyun, of course, but there just wasn’t a right time for this. He doesn’t think there will ever be a right time.

  
He knows they both have their needs, and living in dorms with other people just didn’t scream of a good ‘first time’. Call him cheesy, but Taeyong is a sappy romantic at heart, so he finds the cutest yet cheapest B&B he can find in the app and books it for the weekend without even thinking. It’s paid, and cancellation is no option so he’ll just roll with it and be straightforward with Jaehyun.

He brings it up with Jaehyun when they take a stroll at the campus park just after dinner. “Hey I was thinking…” Taeyong trails off, not really knowing what to say. _I was thinking maybe we can finally have sex this weekend? I think it’s about time we fuck. This weekend?_ All of that didn’t sound quite right.

“Yeah?” Jaehyun urges him to continue, reaching out for his hand.

Taeyong spots a nearby bench and he sits down, tugging Jaehyun along with him. He didn’t know why he’s so nervous. It’s just Jaehyun, and of course he’d be down for it. Sometimes, if he dwells on it enough, he can maybe sense Jaehyun’s raging sexual frustration whenever they get a little bit too steamy when making out.

“Jae, I…booked a B&B this weekend. For, uh…”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen in shock. “Hyung, are you…serious?” Of course he knew what Taeyong was implying. There’s a smile creeping up his face, and Taeyong bursts out in nervous laughter.

“You perv! I didn’t know why I was so nervous for this. Of course you’d like it!” Taeyong pushes Jaehyun’s face away when the latter advances on him playfully. Taeyong’s nervousness dissipates just like that because of course he didn’t have to be. Being intimate with Jaehyun is long overdue, and he knows they’re both on board with it. He’s glad that Jaehyun never pushed or pressured him with it no matter how much the younger wanted it. When Taeyong thinks about it, they’re probably a bit too late compared to their other peers who’s had such experience since high school, but Taeyong likes their pace just fine. He likes how they waited and how wholesome they still are. Maybe after this weekend, Jaehyun will be insatiable and Taeyong won’t complain about that honestly. They just have to deal with their roommates and work around their schedule so they don’t burden anyone when the time comes.

“Hyung, seriously. I…yeah. I’m excited, not gonna lie.” Jaehyun fiddles with Taeyong’s fingers, still sitting at a safe distance away. If he’d move just an inch closer, he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself anymore. “I can’t wait. Holy shit, this is all very planned but I don’t care. I just…I want you. So bad.” His eyes are looking anywhere but Taeyong and it’s kind of cute how shy Jaehyun gets when he confesses things like these.

For the first time Taeyong lets Jaehyun walk him to his dorm. He lets Jaehyun pin him against the wall and kiss him goodbye in the small alley that serves as gaps between the dorm buildings. There’s nobody that can see them there, and Taeyong lets Jaehyun kiss him silly everywhere on his face down to his neck.

“Can’t wait ’til Saturday.” Jaehyun nearly groans into Taeyong’s neck, sucking a small mark at the jut of his jaw.

“Go home.” Taeyong giggles, nearly whines when Jaehyun moves to nibble on his earlobe. “Fuck, Jae. C’mon that’s enough. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah? Lunch at 1.”

Jaehyun pulls back reluctantly, tries to calm himself down a bit before letting Taeyong go. He looks for people passing by and tugs Taeyong out when the coast is clear. “Good night. Love you.” He leaves one last quick peck to Taeyong’s lips before he’s turning around to walk backwards, shooting finger guns at Taeyong. There was a wink thrown, too, and Taeyong laughs as he blushes, throwing Jaehyun a flying kiss before he finally goes in.

-

“So uh,”

“Lube?”

“Yes.”

“And condoms?”

“Should we? I mean. We’re both clean.”

Jaehyun nearly chokes on his spit as he puts the lube in the tiny convenience store basket he has in hand. Half of them are Taeyong’s sweets and some ramen, and they’ll probably just order in some chicken because for sure Taeyong will be too tired to cook. Presumably.

“Uh, I don’t know. I mean…sex-ed?”

Taeyong chuckles to himself and leans in to whisper lowly in Jaehyun’s ear. “I’m not gonna get pregnant, Jae. And we’re both clean. We can forego the condom.”

That wasn’t quite necessary, but Jaehyun finds himself gulping and nodding. They head for the cashier to pay.

The B&B is literally right beside the convenience store, and they check-in smoothly. Taeyong takes the liberty to put away the stuff they bought, and for the first time since he was born, Jaehyun didn’t know how to act around his favourite person.

Yes, it should be easy, it’s just Taeyong, and it’s just sex, but none of the shitty gay porn he watched prepared him for what to actually do when it’s your first time having sex with the person you love the most. Who gets to fuck? Who gets to be fucked? Are blowjobs necessary? It looks good, but Jaehyun wouldn’t know how. Should he be rimming Taeyong? What does ass taste like?

Yes, he’s old enough, but contrary to popular belief, Jaehyun is actually quite innocent with these things. He wasn’t a hormonal teenager, and Taeyong wasn’t too. They grew up quite normal with a good set of friends. Sicheng and Jungkook didn’t care about girls at all from all the video games they play. Yuta was quite lascivious because of all the hentai he reads, Youngho wasn’t a virgin anymore by seventeen, but they don’t sway Taeyong that much. Their friends weren’t very bad influences for them so there really wasn’t a need for them to discover and play around with their sexuality at all.

Jaehyun stands in the middle of the small living area, looking very much conflicted as he nervously chews on his bottom lip. Taeyong chuckles at him from the kitchen. “Relax. We should let it happen naturally.”

And that doesn’t appease Jaehyun at all because if anything, he wants Taeyong to feel good. He wants their first time to be great, and not just _okay_. He wants it to be memorable for the both of them because they’re just two sappy college boys in love.

Taeyong tugs him to play with the provided Wii, and they go a couple rounds of Mario Kart before Jaehyun suggests to watch Netflix instead after he keeps losing. Taeyong laughs at his pout, kisses him in apology, before he drags Jaehyun to the bedroom.

The flatscreen TV was huge, and Jaehyun browses for movies until he settles on The Notebook. Taeyong absolutely adores the film, and that much shows when he beams at Jaehyun but he doesn’t say anything else. They get comfortable, with Jaehyun sitting up against the headrest and Taeyong snuggling up to him. There is an arm thrown over Jaehyun’s waist and Taeyong notes how his stomach has been getting quite hard with muscle lately. He doesn’t let that get to him though—about the possibility that Jaehyun might have _abs_. He can deal with that later.

They watch innocently for the better part of it, except for Jaehyun who’s not really paying any attention to the movie. Taeyong is always so absorbed in it despite having seen this particular movie for over ten times already. And he also didn’t have to know Jaehyun chose this one because of the love scene—if you ask him, it’s quite hot, and it might actually make Taeyong do the first move if he’s bold enough. Jaehyun’s honestly not brave enough to initiate things right now. Usually, he’ll be kissing Taeyong first or hold his hand first in public. He’s so on edge it’s driving him insane, but when the scene does come, Taeyong finally shifts to face him. Jaehyun’s breath hitches when he looks at Taeyong and the latter is giving him bedroom eyes. It wasn’t a look he often sees, but sometimes when they get too carried away with making out, Taeyong looks at him like _that_ and Jaehyun loses it.

“Can we stop watching now?” Taeyong asks in a hushed voice. He’s still snuggled up against Jaehyun, and he looks up just as Jaehyun looks down to meet his eyes.

“Yeah, of course.” Jaehyun manages to say.

Taeyong doesn’t waste any time. He’s bringing Jaehyun down by the neck for a kiss, and Jaehyun can tell it won’t be how they’re used to doing it. There’s a careful tongue immediately sliding between his lips, and Jaehyun opens his mouth, lets Taeyong’s tongue in to tangle with his. They start off slow and careful, and it’s a lot more sensual than they’re used to, but that’s the point of it all.

Taeyong’s hand is all over Jaehyun’s nape, his hair, goes down to his shoulders to slide across his chest. Jaehyun’s bent down at an uncomfortable angle, so he lays Taeyong down and crawls on top of him, continues to kiss the older until they’re both out of breath. Taeyong’s looking up at him still with hazy eyes, and he looks so beautiful with a wild blush spreading across his face. He caresses Jaehyun’s cheek for a while, just looking at him, adoring each and every one of his perfect features and Jaehyun does the same.

“Jaehyun-ah…”

Jaehyun hums against Taeyong’s neck where goes next, licking and sucking little bruises as he goes. Taeyong’s really sensitive at his earlobe, and Jaehyun goes for that as well. It elicits a rather lewd and loud whine from Taeyong and that shoots straight right into Jaehyun’s cock. He thrives on the realization that they can be loud.

“Can you…I want you to just call me Taeyong.”

Jaehyun removes his face from Taeyong’s neck and gives him a confused stare. “Why?”

Taeyong’s too shy to admit it, but he’d rather just be called by his name instead of _hyung_. For some reason, the honorific reminds him of when they were still childhood friends. Yes, they still are, but they’re dating now. They’re lovers, and Taeyong wants to be on equal footing with Jaehyun. He doesn’t want to be his hyung anymore. He just wants to be Taeyong to Jaehyun. He feels it, especially right now when they’re about to take each other.

“Because I just want to be Taeyong to you now. I don’t want to be your hyung anymore, Jae.”

And Jaehyun gets it, he really does. Of all the things he’s proud of, it’s his ability to understand what Taeyong deeply means with just a few words. He didn’t need a thorough explanation because he just knows. He smiles from the thought of it (and finds it quite hot).

“Okay, _Yongie._ ” He teases and goes straight back to Taeyong’s lips which are swollen red already from how much they’ve been kissing. “How are we doing this, by the way?”

“Should we…get naked?” Taeyong suggests, hands smoothing across Jaehyun’s chest. Jaehyun nods dumbly at him but he sits up and gets rid of his shirt and _oh_ —Taeyong is most definitely right about the abs. “Since when did you have that?” He gawks at them—they’re not really defined, but it’s getting there, and his eyes follow the prominent happy trail below Jaehyun’s belly button.

“Been working out with Jeno at home.” Jaehyun smirks at him, proud of his effect. Taeyong doesn’t say anything for a while, busy unabashedly staring at Jaehyun’s form. Jaehyun takes the liberty to undo the buttons on Taeyong’s shirt, and Taeyong jolts a bit in surprise. “Your turn.”

Taeyong doesn’t stop him. He stares at Jaehyun’s face as he undresses him, stares at Jaehyun’s hungry eyes, his red lips. Taeyong is now only realising how fixated he is on Jaehyun’s lips. He likes kissing them whenever they have the chance. He feels the gush of the AC against his naked torso and shivers. Jaehyun sets their shirts aside on the desk and crawls back immediately over Taeyong to warm him up. The skin-to-skin contact feels… _deliciou_ s. Jaehyun’s body is hot and warms Taeyong up completely. He feels the goosebumps rise all over his body when Jaehyun grinds their growing erections together. _The pants need to go_ , is all Taeyong can think about when Jaehyun continues to grind against him as they make out.

“Off,” He tells Jaehyun as he pushes at his pants. Jaehyun chuckles and gets up anyway, shoving his jeans down but leaving on his boxers. He does it for Taeyong, too, but he asks permission if he can pull off his briefs all the way.

“Wanna see you.” Is all Jaehyun says before Taeyong is nodding as he hides his face with both hands. _Cute_ , Jaehyun thinks, how Taeyong can be this shy. Jaehyun gulps at the sight, because while Taeyong is definitely on the thinner side, he’s still so beautiful in Jaehyun’s eyes. He’s got broad shoulders but a slender waist. His ribs protrude out but his thighs are delectable. Right there in the middle is his cock, looking rather average, and Jaehyun notes how— “You shaved?” He didn’t think Taeyong would be the type to shave but Jaehyun thinks it’s quite hot.

“Shut up.” Taeyong groans from behind his palms. Jaehyun can see the blush spread down his chest. “This is so embarrassing.”

“No,” Jaehyun chuckles, hands reaching out to remove Taeyong’s hands from his face. “You’re so pretty, Yong. So pretty.” Jaehyun kisses him once, and grinds down rather hard. “Fuck—“

Taeyong moans, and he reaches down to push Jaehyun’s boxers off as well.He’s actually surprised to see that Jaehyun is quite packed. “Shit. Will that fit in me?”

“What?” Jaehyun whips his head up, and then he goes back to the conversation they had at the store. _I won’t get pregnant, Jae_.

He never really thought about it—never really thought about _that_ before. Taeyong has always been the one looking out for him, protecting him, guiding him, teaching him. It never really occurred in Jaehyun’s mind that maybe, just _maybe_ , Taeyong wants to be pleasured like _that_.

Jaehyun feels so dumb that he didn’t see it coming. “ _Oh_.”

“What?” Taeyong asks him, his hands softly kneading at Jaehyun’s biceps.

Jaehyun doesn’t say anything. With his new found determination, he’s set on giving Taeyong the best first time he can manage. He secretly Googled everything there is to know about gay sex, read a couple threads in Reddit, watched porn so how knows how to actually do it. In the deepest corners of the internet, Jaehyun stumbles upon an educational blog about it with actual video demonstrations that should look weird but are actually helpful. It should be easy. Pleasure should come easy enough if you’re truly attuned with the person, right?

Maybe.

He licks down Taeyong’s body, all the while leaving faint hickeys in his wake. He takes his time, and notes the areas where Taeyong makes the most noise. Jaehyun absolutely loves the sounds he makes. When he reaches. Taeyong’s cock, he gives an experimental lick at the flushed head, and the faintest touches and licks make Taeyong whine. That’s when Jaehyun realizes that Taeyong is absolutely very sensitive. The lighter the touch, the more squirmy and loud he gets. The faintest touch of lips and tongue against his skin makes him shiver. Jaehyun is thriving on the knowledge and makes sure he’ll do it again some other time.

“Shit, Jae. I—“

Jaehyun goes down on his cock, and every word Taeyong is about to say gets cut off by a lewd moan. _So sensitive_ , he thinks, and Jaehyun recalls reading something about not using teeth. He does his best as he goes down, lower and lower as he takes Taeyong deeper. He swallows then, noting how Taeyong is absolutely wrecked at this point. His head is thrown back, his fingers tangled lightly in Jaehyun’s hair. Jaehyun knows Taeyong is trying hard not to pull. He smiles internally at the knowledge that Taeyong knows how much he hates having his hair pulled and played with. His other hand though, expresses his sentiments clearly. It’s gripping so tight at the sheets clutched in his fists. Taeyong’s face is so red, and when he looks down at Jaehyun, his eyes are struggling to stay open.

“Jae, please—“

Jaehyun pulls off and there’s drool all over his mouth and chin. Taeyong was going to pull him up, maybe for a kiss, but Jaehyun read somewhere that rimming is insanely good, so he goes for it, not even bothering to ask Taeyong first.

“Fuck!” He shouts, just as Jaehyun licks at his hole carefully, trying to gauge whether or not Taeyong will push him away. He licks another one, and when Taeyong doesn’t push his head away, Jaehyun grins against his ass. Maybe it does feel good, so he continues to do it, opens his mouth to eat Taeyong out in earnest. At some point, Taeyong nearly sobs as he clutches the bed sheet with both hands. When he’s had enough, Taeyong forces himself to sit up and pull Jaehyun up. “You—“ A kiss. He can taste himself through Jaehyun’s lips and that shoots straight to his cock. “ _menace_. Where did you learn that?” Taeyong pants against his mouth.

“Well that’s a secret.” Is Jaehyun’s cheeky reply.

They don’t waste time anymore after that. Jaehyun wanted to, but Taeyong is just too strung out from a mere blowjob and rimming. They have all weekend, though, so Jaehyun lets Taeyong ease him into prepping. Taeyong does it first with a generous amount of lube, and Jaehyun just stares on in awe at his boyfriend as he fingers himself. It’s a very good sight to see, and Jaehyun wishes he can get that on video—for _personal_ _purposes_ —but that’s a thing for another time. Jaehyun takes initiative a couple minutes later, when Taeyong’s already struggling. It’s warm and slick inside, and, most importantly, _tight_. Taeyong pushes his fingers away after several thrusts, already squirming.

“Now, Jae. I want you inside me.”

That made Jaehyun shudder in anticipation. He slicks his cock with lube, warms up some more to spread across Taeyong’s hole, and then he positions himself to push in.

Taeyong holds his breath as his face contorts in a mix of pain and pleasure while Jaehyun lets out a loud moan. _Fuck, that feels good_ , he thinks as he slowly bottoms out. It’s hot and tight and he didn’t think Taeyong can suck him in that fast but he did, and it was pure and absolute bliss for Jaehyun.

“You okay?” He manages to ask Taeyong, who whines instead.

“Can you—can you pull out for a bit?”

The last thing he wants to do is hurt Taeyong, though, so he does, his face painted with worry. “Does it hurt? I’m sorry, babe.” The endearment slips out, and Jaehyun has half a mind to process that but Taeyong gapes up at him with puppy eyes.

“Say that again.”

“What? I’m sorry?” Jaehyun thumbs against his hips.

“No,” Taeyong chuckles, forgetting the pain on his ass for a bit. “Call me babe.”

Jaehyun chuckles shyly, kissing Taeyong’s chest feather-light. “If you want me to, baby.” _And that’s way hotter_ , Taeyong thinks. He’ll make sure that Jaehyun will call him that all the time now. “Just tell me if you’re ready.”

“I’m ready.” Taeyong assures. “Just go little by little, I guess.”

And Jaehyun does, eases into Taeyong much more carefully now. He thrusts in slowly and pulls out gently, until he finds a good rhythm that Taeyong is satisfied with. He wouldn’t want to unintentionally hurt his boyfriend for the sake of his own pleasure. They set a nice, easy pace eventually, and it’s nice without having to rush. Taeyong gets tired of it after a while and he whispers hotly directly into Jaehyun’s ear, “Faster, _baby_.”

Like a switch, Jaehyun’s whines, buries his head in Taeyong’s neck as his hips do the work. He deems it alright to go a little harder, and the way Taeyong moans is probably a good indication. It doesn’t take long before Jaehyun’s hitting _that_ spot, and that has Taeyong reeling in pleasure—both of them, really. Jaehyun goes for that spot relentlessly, and it’s not too long before Taeyong’s frantically asking him to ‘ _come inside me, Jae, fuck please—_ ‘. And then they’re both cumming—Jaehyun buried deep inside Taeyong’s ass and Taeyong squirting his load against his stomach and chest.

It feels good to not pull out, because Jaehyun couldn’t imagine cumming anywhere but Taeyong’s ass. It feels too perfect, and it’s a good thing that Taeyong likes it too. Maybe they can try the filthier stuff later on and explore their kinks, but for now Jaehyun’s very content with how their first time went. He knew it felt good for the both of them. He pulls out when he’s starting to get soft to lie down beside Taeyong.

“That was great.” Taeyong says, a satisfied albeit tired smile on his face. He’s so pink and it’s quite adorable. He pulls out a couple of tissues from the one conveniently perched on the bedside table and wipes his own cum off of himself.

“Yeah?” Jaehyun asks, head turning to face him.

“Yeah,” Taeyong bites on his lip, a cheeky smile on his face as he turns over to snuggle up to Jaehyun. “I want cuddles, baby.”

Jaehyun melts at the new petname, glad for his slip-up a while ago. He can get used to it. Taeyong kisses him softly now, just all lips without tongue, gentle and sweet. Jaehyun smiles down at him before he’s gently manoeuvring Taeyong to his other side. Jaehyun spoons him and lays a soft kiss against his nape, fingers gentle against Taeyong’s shoulder where his arm loops around.

“Did you ever think we’ll come to this point?” Taeyong asks him once they’ve caught their breaths, his fingers tracing Jaehyun’s arm delicately.

“Honestly? No.” Jaehyun admits. “And I guess I’ve been in love with you all along and I just didn’t realize it sooner. I didn’t think about what could happen. I was just happy to be with you then. I’m happy to be with you now. I’m happy we got here. I love every moment I spend with you—be it good or bad.” Taeyong can feel the rumble of Jaehyun’s chest against his back as he speaks, and Jaehyun’s low voice against his ear makes him shiver. Taeyong doesn’t know what to say. It’s not everyday that Jaehyun is so open with his feelings towards him, but Taeyong’s guessing it’s the idea of pillow talk that’s making him talk like that. He won’t complain, though. He loves hearing Jaehyun’s words, loves how openly he just loves him like that. “I love you, baby.”

At some point, it becomes too unbearable for Taeyong to contain his own feelings. He breathes in and out for a couple of seconds trying to calm himself, then, he turns his head, tips Jaehyun’s lips down to kiss him. “I love you, too.” He says against Jaehyun’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might have a part 3 T_T everyone please stay safe during these times!  
> (leave a kudos and comments please? :3)  
> [twt 1](http://twitter.com/syubpreme) , [twt 2](http://twitter.com/j02140701y)

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it here, thank you. kudos and comments are well-appreciated :)  
> i'm on twitter [here](http://twitter.com/syubpreme) and [here](http://twitter.com/j02140701y) :) 
> 
> MIGHT GET A SEQUEL IF I GET MORE BORED LMAO


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